Southern Culture On The Skids

Tom Thompson · Post by **Tom Thompson** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:28 pm

The Dark Side Of Southern Culture....I like it!....I've eatin it trying to run a course over road "paint". I'm for steering clear of it. Guess we'll have to set less offset, FASTER courses....bummer....NOT!

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 5:26 pm

We have gone four days without rain. It's miraculous. Still can't cut the grass, though. The street in front of the house is still wet with all the run off from my soggy plot of land.

I did, though, finally get to ride the Roes. They have a really nice feel and are easy to get going with a good rhythmic pump. I have to say, though, that 25 years haven't made much difference: the PS board feel EXACTLY like my H-Bomb. Which is a good thing. Quite honestly, I always liked the way the SC boards felt (a bit stiff but responsive) as opposed to the way Fibreflexs felt kind of "squishy." The Roes definetely match up to the H-Bomb in terms of response. I guess cause they "got carbon?"

The Roes are also GREAT cruising boards. I was able to skog last night around 5 miles and felt little or no pain in the lower legs or feet. I guess all that flex makes for a softer ride.

Now, if we can go ONE MORE DAY and stay dry, maybe tomorrow I can break out the lawn mower and trim that swamp in my front yard. It's really getting nasty out there.

William Tway · Post by **William Tway** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 5:40 pm

Good thing the Supreme Court reversed the decision to make it illegal to smoke grass for medical purposes.

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 5:47 pm

William Tway wrote:Good thing the Supreme Court reversed the decision to make it illegal to smoke grass for medical purposes.

It did? I think The Twayzinator has been smokin' something he grew in his backyard.

Unless I wasn't told about a new decision that came out last night?

William Tway · Post by **William Tway** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:13 pm

You’re probably right. Some freak at the deli this morning told me the decision was reversed but my wife (who I know better than to argue with) just informed me the decision was not reversed.

BTW my backyard is weed free

Marion Karr · Post by **Marion Karr** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:24 pm

You know those crazy Supreme Court Justices...always trying to punk on the herbologists out there.....

Marion Karr · Post by **Marion Karr** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:27 pm

Tom Thompson wrote:The Dark Side Of Southern Culture....I like it!....I've eatin it trying to run a course over road "paint". I'm for steering clear of it. Guess we'll have to set less offset, FASTER courses....bummer....NOT!

Tom, actually going across the paint on this hill is no big deal. The only time it's sketchy is when a cone is positioned where you need to make a hard turn right on a paint strip.

Frank Henn · Post by **Frank Henn** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:01 pm

I think they ruled that federal law overrides state laws on medicinal use. Therefore keeping it illegal in states like cali.

But for some reason we have a big field of legally grown weed at the state college in Oxford ms. The people that have been recieving oxfords dope for the past 30yrs will continue to do so. Montel williams is alittle upset he cant get none for his glacuma.

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 7:30 pm

Wesley Tucker wrote:December 16, 1994: I bought my Z-28 Camaro.

TOTAL MILES 17600

A little update. Since it looks like West Virginia might not happen, it looks like my major race road tripping might be done for the year. Here's a new total:
Round Trip miles
Statesville, NC session 550
Statesville, NC session 550
Athens, GA session 520
Mississippi 1500
Winston Salem NC session 550
Georgia 520
Winston Salem NC session 550
The Gathering 1050
Winston Salen NC Session 550
Chicago 2050
Da' Farm 1600

2005 Total 9990 Miles

So that's 27,590 miles getting to races. I wish I could have included St. Louis, but I flew . . . dammit. If West Vriginia goes down plus driving again to Winston Salem for the November race, I'll start knocking on the 30,000 mile mark.

Why keep this tally? Hell, why not?

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 7:37 pm

I forgot one. I've been to Hobby Park four times. That's another 550 miles.

Total: 28,090 miles.

Robert Sydia · Post by **Robert Sydia** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 9:53 pm

Wes - that is incredibly amount of mileage!!!.

We may not have a Military, but Canada does have some good things:

I do not know why the American government has such a problem with this.

All the best,

Rob

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 10:12 pm

Rob,

I don't understand your point? We have great big black guys all over. Our government has no problem at all with this.

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 8:05 pm

Cool story about yesterday in Athens.

We got into town and parked about 2:45 and had the grill fired up by 3:00. That gave us about 90 minutes to tailgate before heading into the stadium. (We're all former Carolina Band members. We always get to our seats at least 20 minutes before kick off to see the bands.)

We had a bunch of brats already off the grill before . . . someone realized we had no buns for the meat. Bummer. That means no mustard, fried onions or kraut to go with the sausages. You just can't mix all that together on a paper plate. You gotta have a bun to hold it all together!

Well, the car next to us had enough Dawg fans to fill up the pound. At about the same time Dave yells. "dammit! We got no hoagie buns for the brats!" the guy over at the next car yells, "dammit! We got no bourbon for the Coke? Who forgot the bourbon? What in God's name were you thinking?"

Being good Carolina fans, we of course had enough bourbon to float the NIMITZ and since our neighbors were doing a "cold tailgate" with a sub sandwich bar, guess what they had bags of in the back of the Explorer? A trade was in order. We gave then a fifth of Jim Beam (hey, the Jack and the Turkey ain't going to no damned Dawg fans,) and they gave us three six-packs of deli hoagie buns.

Life is good.

Although I appreciated the results of our little trade, I have to admit that forgetting the bread is so much preferable to EVER forgetting the mash.

My God, what were they thinking?

Rick Stanziale · Post by **Rick Stanziale** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 10:02 pm

the guy over at the next car, "thanks for the jim beam, but you'll never be able to make the course 66 is setting on trade street tomorrow"

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 10:13 pm

66,

I e-mailed back and forth with Patio Friday and he said y'all were riding Saturday morning. Did you reschedule or are y'all riding both days? (I came to Athens with other people. Getting out to skate wasn't in the schedule.)

Anyway, I couldn't have stayed over to ride today. We all wanted to get back and see what Ophelia was going to do. We didn't know til this morning it's going farther north and probably will whack the Outer Banks.

Thank God For North Carolina!

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:53 pm

Women's Accessories:

NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Captain Morgan/Crown. Money is not necessary - that's what dates are for.

Stadium Size:

NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Campus Decor:

NORTH:: ! Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:

NORTH: Also physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Cheerleaders:

NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.
SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:

NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and
purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting list.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:

NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung-over students that might actually make it to class.

Parking:

NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game
parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:

NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north.

Tailgating:

NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio
station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who comes over during breaks and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:

NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game ! day it becomes the
state's third largest city.

Concessions:

NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Captain
Morgan/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:

NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air after the First Score:

NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Captain Morgan/Crown.

Commentary (Male):

NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "D@mmit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!"

Commentary (Female):

NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "D@mmit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!"

Announcers:

NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:

NORTH:: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon; planning begins for next week's game.

Joe Iacovelli · Post by **Joe Iacovelli** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:12 pm

Wait, Wes, you were in the band?

No way!

See you in Statesville.

Joe

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:35 pm

Joe,

I carried a trombone for eight years: four in high school, four in college. (I use the word "carried" most advisedly in contrast to the more usual "played.")

Joe Iacovelli · Post by **Joe Iacovelli** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:15 pm

Wes,

Please start practicing "War Pigs". I'd like you to play it during my run in NC. That song kicks ass on trombone.

Joe

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:39 pm

More of an IRON MAN guy myself.

John Dillon · Post by **John Dillon** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:29 pm

This one is aimed at my bro-in-law and also at Parsons & wife of LBK:
Q: Why is orange the team colour for the Tennessee Volunteers?
A: It's so they can wear their team jersey to the game on Saturday, go hunting in it on Sunday, then pick up trash on the side of the road on Monday.

Jeff Boswell · Post by **Jeff Boswell** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:39 pm

Hey John, That’s not funny. The state of Tennessee issues orange jumpsuits for Monday morning litter control. Take it from me, I’m well informed on this topic.

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:17 pm

John Dillon wrote:Q: Why is orange the team colour for the [INSERT HERE]?

Florida Gators
Auburn Tigers
Texas Stankhorns
Syracuse OrangeMenstruals
Miami Hurricanes
Vtech Hokies

and last but certainly least,

Those no-good, low-dow, sorry-assed, filthy, cheatin', mother-rapin', father-rapin', dog-eared and titty-lipped foul-smellin' Klempsun Pussys?

Robert Sydia · Post by **Robert Sydia** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 11:28 pm

To my Southern Brothers:

Getting all ready to head south in November, so I went seaching about Down South Culture.

Searched the net and all I found was:

All the best & see you in a couple weeks

I am ready for all the "DUMB CANADIAN" jokes

Rob

Joe Iacovelli · Post by **Joe Iacovelli** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:33 am

dumb canadian = redundant

Mike Cividino · Post by **Mike Cividino** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 4:26 am

Joe Iacovelli wrote:dumb canadian = redundant

haha, thats actually pretty funny.

Frank Henn · Post by **Frank Henn** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:53 pm

Those pictures are photoshopped. There's no fire pit.

eh

Chris Favero · Post by **Chris Favero** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 4:11 pm

these past posts have made my morning.too funny,seriously.cf

Laura Bissell · Post by **Laura Bissell** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 2:13 am

It's not funny.

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 4:24 am

If anyone sees Brian "I wish I was on Rocky Top" Parsons, would you please be so kind as to ask him to contact me?

We have a few issues related to college football to discuss.

You know this fella Spurrier? He's a helluva guy. Just one helluva guy/

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 2:55 pm

It was really cool seeing Bryan and Nanette Parsons on ESPN at the big game in Knoxville last night:

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 12:06 am

Ain't it just the most beautiful Southern autumn day you ever did saw?

Tom Thompson · Post by **Tom Thompson** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 12:19 am

Wesley, anything good happen today?

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 12:33 am

Tom,

Well, let's see . . .

I paid $2.16 a gallon for gasoline (up in Columbia,) I had some great fried chicken in a parking lot (up in Columbia,) I think I may have drank a little too much Wild Turkey (up in Columbia,) ummmm . . . I got a bit of a tan in very same parking lot (up in Columbia,) had some really good boiled peanuts a little while later in the stadium (up in Columbia,) and then had a most remarkable drive home with the windows down, the sun roof open and the wind in my hair.

Those are all good things, don't you think?

So, anybody else going to be in Florida for New Years?

Oh, oh, oh, Tom, one other thing:

DID I MENTION WE KICKED FLORIDA'S ORANGE ASS ALL OVER HELL AND CREATION?

It was a BEAUFTIFUL thing!

P.S. And just for the record, Hollien started it! I got out of my car in Statesville wearing a USC Band shirt and he immediately let me know that it would all be for naught today. Well, what does he know from football anyhow?

Tom Thompson · Post by **Tom Thompson** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:23 am

hehehe....sweet.....

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 3:01 am

One final word for this fabulous November evening -

Auburn is playing Jaw Ja on ESPN2
GOLDENEYE is on BRAVO
HEARTBREAK RIDGE is on AMC
THEY WERE EXPENDABLE is on Turner Classic Moivies.

My poor remote is smokin' from all the buttons getting pushed going around and around from one fabulous broadcast to the next.

It just don't get any better than this . . . well, outside of runnin' cones.

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:30 pm

Well,

It's about TIME!

If anyone has noticed, registered slalomskateboarder.com user #687 is "Larry Leake." I don't know about the rest of you, but I always click on a new user's name to find out if there's anything in the profile worth noting.

Well, Larry's location is . . . South Carolina, U S Of A. Finally, another slalomer in South Carolina! That now makes TWO.

I PM'd Larry to ask where in South Carolina he is and he replied that he's in . . . Summerville. Small, crazy world, ain't it? He skates the same fitness trail I do, but at a different section farther up, so we've never crossed paths. He's actually a longboarder/Old School guy who wants to try slalom for the first time. We will definetely hook up and run some cones. I gather from where he said he skates that he probably lives within skating distance of me.

I guess I need to get in touch with Jimmy Branum out there in the country and probably the three of us can have a real session soon at the Playground or maybe the Bus Depot.

Robert Sydia · Post by **Robert Sydia** » Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:32 pm

Hey Guys:

Glad you are posting here again - I really thought I offended Laura and the thread got real quiet.

All the best,

Rob

Frank Henn · Post by **Frank Henn** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:49 am

Robert Sydia wrote:Hey Guys:

Glad you are posting here again - I really thought I offended Laura and the thread got real quiet.

All the best,

Rob

She only gets offended if I wake up in the morning.

Larry Leake · Post by **Larry Leake** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:59 pm

Thanks, Wes, for the acknowledgement. Really well thought out site, and on top of all that, people seem to use it, too! Man, I thought I was the only ol' man to skate in the (S)Low Country...seems I undercounted by 50% or so. If ya'll get a (silly tiggers) chance to look at the (I taut I taw a puddy tat) slalom decks forum, I posted (what's all this about handshakes before the game?...break some legs) some pics of my '76 Maherajah deck that I still have (garnet should be upgraded to a precious stone) that I have some questions about.

Looking forward to meeting the crew.

Larry

Robert Sydia · Post by **Robert Sydia** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 3:38 pm

Frank:

You have that problem as well - I thought I was the only one.

How is life in Jackson - is life back to normal??

Hope all is well - say "Hi" to Laura

All the best,

Rob

Chris Favero · Post by **Chris Favero** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 5:31 am

Wt,rumor has it your gamecocks may face Northwestern wildcats in the music bowl?did i mention that when your raced in chicago,you raced four blocks NE of NW's stadium?just a little trivia,cf

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:41 am

Northwestern?

I wonder if Irv Cross will be there?

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:33 pm

New Year's around here means one thing: Hoppin' John. Gotta serve up some field peas, rice and pork to ensure a lucky and prosperous New Year. Thanksgiving is at the folks, Christmas is at my brother's and New Year's dinner is at my place:

Now, some purists argue ya' gotta serve up a ham hock, but I don't do joints. So I send in a quality substitute like grilled pork tenderloins. Another good-luck fare for New Year's is home made fresh cooked collard greens. Throw in some cornbread and iced tea like only I can make and no one leave the table hungry. All that's missing from the pic is my strawberry cheese cake for dessert.

Y'all have a good New Year. See some of y'all in Georgia, some others at Pump Station and some more in Texas. It's January and I got three race in the next seven weeks.

That's a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 3:53 am

I hate winter.

It is raining jjjuuussttt once a week . . . just enough to get everything wet again jjjuuussttt about the time things start to get dry from the rain a week before. And with the colder, wetter air, nothing dries.

It sucks. No dry asphalt, no dry concrete, no dry anything. If it would just rain and quit that would be so much less frustrating than this chinese water torture with just a drip, drip, drip keeping everything damp . . . and unskateable.

I hate winter.

Frank Henn · Post by **Frank Henn** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 1:37 pm

haha no rain here.
No cold here
Dry and 78 degrees for the past 2 weeks.

of course I cant skate do to injury but I'll be back for our rainy season in april.

Christopher Bara · Post by **Christopher Bara** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:35 pm

OK....i've been in a non-posting mood lately, but Tuck...i couldnt resist....
Fadell and i spent 6 weekends indoors because it was below freezing and 2 feet of snow.
The day after Christmas we got out, but most of the hills were covered in slush, so we made do with one and just set up the cones wide, because the rock salt was tough to ride on, and the cones guided us around the patches of ice....it was a balmy 29 degrees with a westerly wind.
On New years we made it out again because the temps got all the way up to 38 and we had enough room to navigate between the melting snow puddles....

and you have the nads to say it's cold and wet in the deep south.

c'mon now son!

Wesley Tucker · Post by **Wesley Tucker** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:55 pm

Yeah, I said that and meant every word of it.

Just because you and Fadell are masochists doesn't mean I'm obligated to not only tolerate but in some way enjoy filthy weather.

I live down here for certain reasons and you pretty well summed up all of them.

So, are y'all coming to Texas?

P.S. Got yer Super Bowl tickets?

Christopher Bara · Post by **Christopher Bara** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 8:14 pm

No Texas for me this year...I know Greg's considering it.....It's tempting though...it's been so grey here for so damn long i forgot what the sunshine looks like..

Superbowl tickets....suuuure....this is the first time there'll be two pro teams playing each other on Ford Field !! .........i'll be watching on TV just like you man

Chris Favero · Post by **Chris Favero** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 4:08 am

WT,you know i love food.that photo of your spread along with your description is just plain evil.you know i cant scratch that southern homestyle itch up here.cf

Join the ISSA 25 cone series. One cyber race every second month!

Regular sessions allow newbies to join our community and discover slalom racing.

Southern Culture On The Skids

Re: A Day That Will Live In Infamy!

A Good Day In Athens, JawJa

Notable Differences

Hello!

Re: Hello!

Down South Culture

HOW 'BOUT THEM STINKIN' 'COCKS?!!!!

Slalomers on TV

A Great End To A Great Day . . .

Another Southern Slalomer

I am glad people are posting here again

Re: I am glad people are posting here again

Happy New Year to all of y'all!

It sucks . . . really.