ISSA - International Slalom Skateboarding Association

I just recieved a call from Bruce Brewington . He called to tell me he was shocked that I would bet against him in the World Paralled Stance Championship match up. Wes Tucker is his opponent and resides here in the east. Henry backed Bruce I backed Wes. The Race will be a part of the 03 Slalom on Da Farn race on aug 23 in Vista NY.
I would also like to personally invite ARAB to our race. His presence can only add to the already festive atmosphere. So Henry, start training your boy, we'll train ours and may the best man win. TK

Of course, I already have one notable advantage:

I know how to find Vista!

After previewing Kenny's "Worlds" DVD, Bruce has improved a great deal. Put him on a fast hill at Da Farm and we have a killer race in the making. I know Mr. Tucker is out for revenge on the farm hill so that will add to the excitement. May the best freak win.

The question is... who's going to bet on me as the 'dark horse'? I rode parallel all the time back in the 70s, and now, of course, I own the one of a kind Ick, produced for Randy Smith, one of the parallel masters of the 70s. Heaven help the both of you, when I decide to point my toes straight down the hill and glue my ankles together again. I'm serious, too. I'm going take the lunch money off of both of you.

Well, before this thing gets really carried away, let me do a little scribbling here. There are a few folks reading all this and wondering, "what the hell are they talking about?" Quite honestly, unless you went to an event where either me or Bruce raced, there may be a little confusion as to exactly what is a "parallel stance."

Well, a good example is look at my pic in the margin:-) A better way to envision a parallel stance is to think about SKIING: feet side by side, knees together, sometimes riding ankle-to-ankle, always riding directly at the course with the shoulder and hips perpindicular to the center line of the course. Also, "parallel" can refer to the way a rider approaches the course. There is neither a "back foot," or "front foot." Both feet provide the same action on the board, parallel to the centerline only one to the left and the other to the right. Everything is centered, as even as possible and most importantly, equally distributed across the board in terms of balance, power and steering. It really is an almost completely different way of attacking a slalom course. Also, there are some distinct advantages when it comes to an accelerating pump as both feet, ankles and legs are working simultaneously to produce thrust through a turn. Of course, this is hard for anyone who has seen me or Bruce race this year to accept seeing as how we are both old and fat, but trust me, the theory is sound.

The disadvantages are also obvious: with the feet centered and the body positioned "across" the course, it is very easy to lose traction. As opposed to a surf stance where all the body weight can be placed right on top of the truck, a parallel stance tends to have the feet several inches from the front and the back of the board. A break-away slide is more than possible in a hard turn.

So the advantages are equally distributed thrust and turning strength and the disadvantage is a very marginal center of gravity that can cause catastrophic loss of control. So why would anyone want to ride a parallel stance as opposed to a more common and accepted surf stance?

Because it's so much damned fun!

It's only smack if it's an exaggeration intended to exacerbate or provoke an already smoldering situation. When making an honest observation, though, about specific physiological parameters, it's what's known as "motivational therapy."

Let me clarify.In order to participate in the WPSC's you MUST race parallel stance in races. You cannot be a hot shit racer who can ride parallel but races surf stance (JG,Chaput etc). This race is for the guys who live it, the guys who still have Piercy posters on their bedroom wall,the guys who refuse to change styles even if it would make them faster,the guys who SKI. IF there is some euro PS freak let him come and shame our boys but I doubt it. TK

Hey TK

How did you know that I still have the January 1978 issue of Skateboarder on my wall. Yes, the 3-piece BP cover shot !!!

Well, actually, I got pics of Deanna Caulkins on my wall. (I hope Terry doesn't read this?)

But hey, Bruce, if Piercy floats yer boat, have at it!

(There are kids out there born since the Reagan Administration who have absolutely no idea what we're talking about!)

TK... that's weak. Not that I'm a "hotshot" racer or anything, and as you know I don't routinely ride parallel stance, but I'm still saying that, with a little bit of refresher practice, I think I could wax both Wesley and Bruce. I know that, at some level, this is all in good fun, but you certainly can't call something "World" and limit eligibility to two people. None of this prevents Bruce and Wesley from grudge matching to their hearts' content, but if it's about who goes fastest riding parallel, it's about who goes fastest riding parallel; not about how much time people spend riding parallel.

Oh, one thing more about racing at 'da Farm. I will admit that the difference in Bruce's performance between Boston and Morro was like night and day. I was really impressed that when I looked over my shoulder he was only two or three cones behind me.

BUT, unless something changes dramatically between now and August, there is one thing that will be different than at the world's: push starting. When I got home from California, I was the first to admit that I was completely intimidated and almost incapacitated because of my inability and incompetence to get off a good start.

Nine months is a real long time and there's no telling what could happen between now and the end of NEXT summer. Maybe Tway and TK will decide ramps are a good way to go. (At least that would be one way TK can avoid getting anymore nasty e-mails from me about start boxes!) Either way, though, I will do what's necessary to improve my ramp starts and continue working on my push starts so that neither would be considered a handicap (In other words, I got a start ramp to practice on.)

Well GBJ if you race Parallel so would I. The advantages to Parallel stance are- faster board tilt changes = quicker in the tights and there is no goofy/regular advantage.

I used to race using surf stance in the start and in the end section of straight cones switch to parallel stance.

As for Euro's Heine Timperli is the only guy I know who rode parallel when I was in Switzerland in 1991. Very smooth and would give both a run for the money. There is a wild card..............from New York City.......and he is skier who ride exclusively parallel- Tom Armstrong- /then/ very fast....but now very fat, bald, and lazy. We will see if we can wake him up.

Andy you're right. It is lame. But this is about the guys who are true to an art form.Who only race and ride parallel. They are the last of a dying breed and this race is in a way honoring them. Are they the fastest,no. We could make it an open and just give Gilmour the prize but he already has a storage unit full of medals and prizes and what fun would that be. You are however invited to race all the other events including the vintage race AND you can even ride parallel in those races if it suits you. Who knows you just might spank those guys (they will be riding Parallel too) Then again you might not. Respectfully, TK

How about we have a Masters Category which is for guys 5' 10" and above. I think that would include Bruce and Wesley.

GBJ, JG, CC, TK and others could race in the Pee Wees.

I'm in. Just one question though. My right toe is about an inch and a half behind my left toe. It's been called a cheater stance. Does that mean I'm cheating?

Yes Chris, you are cheating. And don't think I don't catch all the other little cheats you sneak in when you think no one is looking. Like the time you stepped into my line of sight to"adjust a cone" right before my final run in the GS event at the Gathering. Our eyes locked for a split second and I thought"Chris you bastard,no way is that going to distract me".And that thought was just enough to distract me .
Anyway, if anyone knows that girl who raced Terry at the original Catalina race please let her know she is also invited to the WPSC's in Vista NY. The nearest faraway place. TK

So to qualify as a racer you must have always raced parallel- or could you race for one year in ALL races parallel and then qualify?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: John Gilmour on 2002-12-17 14:38 ]</font>

Gilmour should ALWAYS have to ride that 24" oak G&S (he rode for the vintage race) with the bennets on it one footed, that may even the odds a bit for the rest of us.

John, Riding Parallel is a life choice. Let me explain.Those fashion models who do heroin for the "look" are not real dope fiends. Its about Keith Richards baby, get it? All these girls who go with other girls because its fashionable are not REAL lesbians. The indigo girls are REAL lesbians. Just because you rode parallel at a race or two one year because you were confused or pressured into it DOES NOT make you a parallel slalom rider. Look in the mirror and ask yourself "am I a parallel slalom racer" ? If the man looking back can say "yes I am" then you may race. Remember John, We can't fool the man in the mirror. I know the real McCoy when I see it, and Tucker and Brewington are the real McCOY. TK

Too fast for a sharp photo...

I think it's blurred because you were laughing so hard you couldn't hold the camera still!

(I do this sort of thing all through the picture.)

Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating! Bruce is cheating!

Sincerely,

Controlled C

TK, I can't believe that you think that I would stoop to such levels. That time that Sandy & I were totally making out didn't even get your attention but when I helped you by setting the course properly, you cry foul!

p.s. I ride more parallel than the "lifers".

Brewington ROCKS!

TK I know its a little late on the thread here, but thanx for the invite to DA FARM o3,

Why bother I'd kick all yer asses!

Thanx again Arab
Say hey to Sandy

PS got my boy Nathan his new Jack Russell Terrorizer puppy, I forgot how fun puppies are, I havent had a dog in 20 yrs.

After carefully reviewing new footage of Bruce filmed By K and R MOllica at the worlds I have but one thing to say. Chaputs right! Even though he is a tattle tale the truth is the truth. Bruce is not really a "parallel stance" skater. I am well aware Bruce may contact one of his high power lawers to sue me for slander but the camera don't lie. Bruce rides modified Parallel at best. Bruce, have you anything to say for yourself???

Hey...I just ride the way I ride, it's not that big of a deal !!!.

I win! I win! I win!

What better way to be a World Champion than be in a two-man only event and one of the guys gets disqualified? I love this country!

P.S. By the way, Bruce, are you sure you got my home address correct? My Christmas presents still haven't arrived.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Wesley Tucker on 2002-12-27 09:58 ]</font>

Wes Tucker - riding parallel?

<img src=http://www.users.cloud9.net/~wbtway/wt2.jpg>

So, now that we've determined that even the purists aren't pure, is the field open to everyone again?

Well, obviously someone didn't read what I wrote when I came home from Morro Bay. (But Noah's excused. Getting married tends to distract people from the REALLY important issues in life!)

I rode a surf stance trying to qualify against Atilla in the pro ranks. To put it simply, I couldn't get my feet adjusted and get out of the gate and down the ramp at the same time. I compromised terribly and Atilla won by over a combined one second time. I'm not saying I would have beat Atilla if I could have rode a more comfortable parallel stance, but I know I would have been a lot more confident charging that hill if I could have got my feet on the board the way I like.

In other words, I found the whole experience at Avila Beach very IMPURE.

Oh, and if you're wondering, I had this almost exact same conversation walking back up the hill with ur13. He noticed almost immediately I had adjusted my stance in the qualifying. I was to say the least, less than thrilled with the results.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Wesley Tucker on 2002-12-27 13:41 ]</font>

But Wes, that shot of you was taken during OPEN practice (or perhaps a live qualifier.) You're racing George Gould. You must've adopted the modified stance a little earlier than you recall.

I have no doubt of that, Noah. What I do remember is that when I stood in the gate and looked down at the hill in a true parallel stance, I couldn't get a good "feel" for anything.

I abandoned the parallel stance early on just trying to get off that stinkin' ramp. To be honest, the first time I climbed the ramp and looked down that hill, I got off my board and walked away. It took me three trips up those stairs in practice to even begin to feel good about that ramp start. The only reason, I think, the pro qualifier sticks out with me is because by then my times had at least got a little more respectable. With every run I felt better and better coming out of the gate.

Too bad I ran out of runs!

I don't know GBJ. I don't know anything any more. All my life I have been searching for something true, something pure. Yet each time I think I've found it ......... Never mind its only skateboarding what am I thinking. Sure you can race GBJ....But I still have 50.00 on Wes and you have to match it. TK

Ok, here's the deal. I'll throw down a $1,000 on myself in a race with Bruce or Wes.
And yes I'll ride parallel.

ouch.

And you will lose.

Wes,

Bring it on. It won't even be close.

You've never seen me skate...but I've seen you.

Does this mean a wager is on?

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Brady Mitchell on 2002-12-28 00:29 ]</font>

Get in line, Jack. I think I wrote the first "wolf ticket" back on page 1 of this string. Since then, I've had the chance to get out there and put my old parallel skills on a hill, am more confident now than I was on the previous page, have been excluded from consideration for not having enough soul to ride parallel all the time, and watched people expose both of the purists as not-so-pure. Hey Wesley, are you coming to The 3rd Gathering? Bring your wallet.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Andy Bittner on 2002-12-28 01:12 ]</font>

C'mon Andy, don't play the slalom martyr. It had nothing to do with you not having a soul.

also, what is a wolf ticket?

Heck, I'm down for this challenge! Don't know about Jack, but I think I can give Bruce and Wes a run for their money. I'll skate absolutely strict parallel, too - get out your rulers!

I've seen all three of you old dudes ride! I'm not sure who my money will be on, but I sure as heck want to be there to take the pics and pick up the two or three cones that are bound to be knocked down by the end of the day... HR

Haven't seen Dan run them yet... but I still figure it's a 4 horse race!

TK, My lack of soul is between me and God. As for "wolf ticket"...

Wolf Ticket (n), slang, - An informal, verbal challenge to race, originating in the street drag racing and hotrodding communities of the mid-to-late 20th Century. (Usually issued loudly, while sitting at a traffic light and revving the engine). In some cases, the revving of the engine alone could be construed as "issuing" a wolf ticket.

I've seen Jack slalom, think of an older Paul Dunn and a much older Mike Maysey.

My $$$$$$$$ is on Jack, My wife needs a new car and she has been eyeing a VW Passat Wagon at $28,000,00, So I'll bet $14,000,00 so I can get My wife her new car,

Gee thanx alot for Helping out Jack, If theres ever anything that I can do for you!

Arab

Hey Jack,

I want in on some action!

Bobby